The Break(Gotta Go)Fast Club
by Escape-the-Circus
Summary: Sonic is a jock who's too cool for boredom. Amy is a princess with enough riches to make Oprah blush. Tails is a nerd with a closet anime obsession. Blaze is a basket case but also a raging pyromaniac. And Shadow is a criminal too busy wearing tight leather to notice any of them. Now let's stuff them together in a high school library for eight hours and see what happens.
1. Welcome to Detention, Chumps

**(A/N) In case you're not familiar with 80s movies, The Breakfast Club is a thing that exists. It's a movie that you should all watch if you haven't already. But this right here is my Sonicified version. It's my first M rated story, and it's all about high school (which I just graduated from...*looks around expectantly for cookies*) so I somehow just felt an impulse to write it.**

**It is also my first story that I completely dedicate to humor. I occasionally slip jokes into my other stories, but never make it just about the jokes. Let's see how good I am at being funny. How hard can it be, right guys?..._guys?_**

**Overall, I have a serious case of writer's block and am slowly trucking along for the final chapter of We Will Always Be Enemies. If anyone cares about this story enough that a continuation interests them, I'll be happy to deliver.**

**The Breakfast Club is a 1985 comedy-drama film written and directed by John Hughes. I do not claim any of these ideas as my own. I hope I'm not breaking any rules. And I'll be damned if a story like this has already been done in the Sonic category.**

**Enjoy.**

***sobs sexually in corner***

**(x)**

Mobius High.

Something about seeing the building on such a gray morning made Sonic the Hedgehog shrivel in his footsteps. This was a _Saturday_ morning. Getting up early during the week was essential for any student enrolled in high school. But _today?_ He wasn't supposed to be here. He was supposed to be buried under ten layers of blankets, snoring away until the wee hours of the afternoon where he'd clamber into the kitchen and insist that his mother make his favorite blueberry pancakes at 4 PM.

That's the way it was supposed to go. He wasn't supposed to be here at Saturday morning detention. It was totally uncool.

Thankfully, the track runner, popularly dubbed as the 'Blue Blur' by his peers, was able to run here from his house, sans vehicle because his feet were like little legends with toes, before detention was scheduled to begin at seven in the morning. He had about fifteen minutes to spare. Maybe he could go screwing around in the cafeteria, looking for leftover chili, or hot dogs. Or chili dogs. Or hot dogs. Or dogs. He was starving. His parents weren't even awake yet to feed him, so he had nothing to ingest but the musky air.

Even though he was more than certain there wasn't a breakfast buffet waiting for him, anything was better than standing in the same place and dreading the day in store for him. He had to get it over with. With a stifled yawn, the hedgehog scrambled in through the front doors.

As he entered, Amy Rose was just arriving in a beautifully crafted car that was not her own. Her friend's mother, Vanilla the Rabbit, was kind enough to drop her off this morning so she could avoid getting in trouble with her parents.

"Thank you so much, Vanilla. You're a lifesaver," she thanked the elder bunny. "Just whatever you do, don't tell my mom where I am. She thinks Cream and I had a normal sleepover like we always do."

"You _did_ have a normal sleepover, dear. Telling her that wouldn't be a lie in the slightest. I have the empty pocky boxes scattered all over the house as evidence."

Amy blinked. "Oh, well that's good then, I guess."

She climbed out the passenger door and slammed it shut behind her. The pink hedgehog wore a silky red dress embroidered with iridescent beads. Her dark heels clapped across the pavement, her neatly cut hair swaying out from her face as a chilly wind rolled over. Amy had painted over whatever exhaustion was present on her rather pleasantly beautiful features with make-up. She looked pretty good despite the situation. Detention, really? She'd never had detention in her life. How was she going to have the energy to shop later with Cream and Cosmo? As much as she liked buying things, no one would have the drive to do so after sitting in a room for eight hours.

From a distance, another hedgehog clad in a black leather jacket emerged from the shade of a tree and locked his eyes on Amy's retreating back. He growled with disgust at all the exquisite jewels bouncing off her frame.

Regular detention was nothing unusual to Shadow the Hedgehog. He got in trouble quite often at the school, mostly for mocking the faculty members and doing just about anything to stir up a crowd. But rounding his rock band up, entering last week's talent show, and dedicating one of their songs to their principal, Silver the Hedgehog, had definitely been the straw to break the camel's back.

He couldn't resist, though. He was so tired of the white stuck-up prude getting onto him for swearing. _Swearing,_ as if it were a crime. He had it coming, and knowing Shadow for his antics, he should've seen it from a mile away.

How did that song go again?

_Oh, **damn** you Mr. Silver,_

_You're going straight to **Hell,**_

_**Damn** you, Silver, **damn damn damn,**_

_What the **hell,** Silver, **damn**_

_**Dammit**. Where's that **damn fourth period...**_

_**Damn** you principal..._

_YOU UGLY PIECE OF-_

_Cue obnoxious guitar solo._

Yeah it was definitely less of a song and more of a horror fanatic's wet dream, what with all the shouting and blisteringly loud audio. His drum player went crazy with that one.

How he hadn't been expelled, he wasn't sure. How he was the only one who had to come here when his band members didn't, he didn't know and sure as hell didn't like. But the look on the tight-ass principal's face after the song was over had somehow made it all better, and made him care about the consequences a little less.

Though it would've been really nice if he weren't at the school on a Saturday morning. He confirmed this in his head when he saw Amy Rose, the elegant little princess, a.k.a. the school's little bundle of popularity and wealth, strutting into the school like it were a red carpet event.

It was going to be a long day.

Though probably a lot longer for another detention attendee, who's parent nearly careened into Shadow as he passed through the street without a single glance in either direction.

"OH GOD, MOM, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE! YOU ALMOST KILLED THAT GUY!"

Miles Tails Prower's mother glared back at him in the rear-view mirror.

"DON'T YOU EVEN DARE USE THAT TONE WITH ME! YOU SAW HIM JUST WALK RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!"

Even though the damage had already been done, she went ahead slammed a fist into the car's horn. Shadow didn't even flinch. He passed by, completely unfazed.

The vixen gritted her pointed teeth. "Damn teenagers, waltzing around like they pay rent."

Tails slumped backwards in his seat, embarrassed by her outburst, before collecting his backpack and tossing it over his shoulder.

"Make sure you behave, Tails! Don't give the principal anymore trouble!"

"Okay mom..."

"And don't talk if he's talking!"

"Yes ma'am..."

"And if there's any extra credit available, be sure to bring it home!"

"Mom, it's _detention_..."

She reached back towards him and snagged the comic out of his hands.

"No sir! No more manga until I pick you up! That's part of the punishment."

Tails' cerulean eyes popped open. "B-But mom!"

"No buts! You can find out what happens to this...erm.." her fingers sifted through some of the pages and her son flushed at the content, "Haruhi Suzumiya...does...after the day's over."

Tails scowled to himself. How was he to go the whole day wondering what shenanigans the SOS Brigade were getting into this time? He didn't handle curiosity all that well. And mixed with desperation, it might end up a disaster of catastrophic proportions.

He lingered for a while, waiting for her to say anything else after that, or possibly blurt another order. But when she said nothing, the fox calmly shut his door and headed into the school manga-less. He stuffed his hands into his uniformed pockets and made sure to keep his distance from Shadow, who kicked the door open in front of him and stepped inside like he didn't care to be alive.

Then, one final car rolled up. A dirtier car, this time with a male driver. Big the Cat. He definitely lived up to his name, as he was a large, robust cat with violet fur and long ears that stuck out of both corresponding passenger windows. His teenage daughter, a cat of lighter purple and eyes like piercing sunshine, had no choice but to lounge in the backseat away from his intrusive ears. When the vehicle rolled to a stop, her face shot up. She singed the strapping of her seatbelt, allowing it to dissolve off her body.

Big's rubbery yellow gloves tensed around the steering wheel.

"Blaze, don't start none of that. Just get out."

"I don't want to be here."

"I said get out."

Blaze crossed her arms defiantly, her left eye twitching. "But Dad, you don't understand. I just want to burn things."

"I understand that perfectly well! I have the skin grafts to prove it!" her father yelled to her. "Now go, be done with this already. Get out of here before you explode the engine. And take your literally fiery temper along with you."

Blaze huffed and climbed out of the car, stomping into Mobius High School without even humoring the courtesy of closing the door behind her. She left small flames in her tracks that blackened the concrete sidewalk, and, as she completely ignored the path to the front door and cut through the grass, dead patches that were once green and thriving.

Big whispered a prayer to himself before leaving.

Once Blaze was inside the grossly familiar building, she immediately located the library on the other end of the hall. That's where she was told detention would be held.

She watched as an orange fox in front of her approached the double doors, flicking at the handle with nervous fingers. She smirked sadistically to herself.

_Mm, a freshman. More like fresh **meat** to burn._

Inside the library, Shadow had plopped himself down at a desk somewhere in the back near the wooden shelves. Amy and Sonic were in front of him seated closer together. They paused and looked at each other, smiling in acknowledgement. Sonic leaned back and stretched his arms out while Amy held up a mirror and fluffed at her quills. Tails shuffled inside, closely followed by Blaze. The fox placed himself in an isolated spot off to the left. He bounced his leg up and down furiously, dropping a hand on the surface of his desk and anxiously tapping his fingers. Knowing he was in detention..._Saturday_ detention...made his palms sweat like nothing else could. Except maybe the thought of Mikuru-chan in lingerie.

And lastly, Blaze sat somewhere not far from Shadow. She eyed the books behind her mischievously. So many things to burn, so little time. The feline cracked her knuckles, causing a few orange sparks to pop out of her fists.

Once they were all securely set on their bums, the clock hanging above the door struck seven.

Tick...tock...tick...tock.

They all glanced at each other once, and then faced forward.

Detention had begun.


	2. Fish That Bite

**(A/N) And thus the shenanigans continue. I've rewritten WWABE like three times now. I'm just not satisfied with any of it. So here's something else Sonic-related to help me get through it, and to mull you over until then.**

**Enjoy! **

**(x)**

Silver the Hedgehog was known to be the most feared man at Mobius High. He intimidated every student in passing save for a select handful, as they all knew of his psychokinetic powers, and rumors were constantly bubbling about how every person to enter his office would end up facing his ultimate wrath; slammed from wall to wall just by the flick of his wrist. Why else would there be a green aura sometimes seen bleeding out from the gap under his door?

Silver knew these rumors all to well, and did nothing to dispel them. He enjoyed being powerful, and even more being feared. He loved being the highest level of authority in the school. The only thing ruining his self-indulgence were the hooligans who thought they could outsmart him with jabs and insults. Hooligans like Shadow the Hedgehog.

The powerful psychic had been the principal on campus longer than anyone could remember. He remembered his first day on the job, how he tried everything he could to be charming, engaging, and friendly with the students so they'd appreciate him in return. But that attempt quickly evaporated when he saw just how evil they really were. All the years of torment and belittling had hardened him right down to the telekinetic core. He now had no interest in any of them whatsoever, and he felt even more compelled to hate the ones present in the library right this very moment. They were the ones keeping him from having the enjoyable Saturday he knew he deserved.

When he entered the room, every face shot up and peered at him in terror, not including Shadow. His grim scowl and leathery stare shook the room with discomfort but completely rolled over the ebony hedgehog like a transparent wave. Upon noticing him, the flames that had been dancing on Blaze's thumb instantly sizzled out.

"Good morning,_ troublemakers,"_ Silver greeted, his voice dripping with fake sincerity. "I hope you all slept well last night, after you had time to think over the actions you committed this past week; the ones that have brought you here today."

Amy's dolly eyes inverted downwards. Without thinking, her hand shot up. Bracelets jingled.

"E-Excuse me? Mr. Silver, sir?"

Silver's golden speckled eyes lolled over to the rosy hedgehog and gazed on with annoyance. "Yes, what do you want."

Amy lowered her hand and primitively folded it into her other on the desk. "Sorry. I don't mean to interrupt or anything, but see...the thing is, I don't think I'm supposed to be here with everyone else. The teacher that assigned me detention told me I would serve mine in the teacher's lounge, where I could help myself to some freshly ground coffee."

Silver couldn't help but smirk at this. Whoever gave Amy detention was a genius. A lying genius, of course. Without that fib, she might not have been present.

He ignored her question and carried on as if she'd said nothing at all, jutting a finger up towards the ticking clock.

"You see that right there? That reads seven o' six. Your prison sentence is eight hours and fifty four minutes. I hope that isn't a _problem_ for any of you."

Sonic's eyes widened. "Woah. You mean to tell us we have to spend nine hours just sitting still in one place?"

"Of course not," Silver corrected. "You won't just be sitting still. You'll be doing more than that."

His brow then lifted mischievously. He brought forth a stack of papers and began placing an individual sheet on each desk. "You'll be spending your time writing a one thousand page essay that I will collect after the day is over."

A groan rattled out around the room. Upon hearing this, Silver beamed with overwhelming triumph as he watched them all squirm. "Yes, one thousand words. The prompt will be about who you think you are. Quite simple, really."

"Who we think we are?" Amy parroted back curiously.

He nodded. "Exactly, as in who you think you are at this school, in society, among your peers, your family, or simply alone when you're sitting at home wasting away in your own pathetic existence," his eyes momentarily flickered over to Shadow, "And when I say essay, I _mean_ essay. I do not mean..."

He focused intently on Amy Rose. "...a thousand words from a shopping list."

He then averted his gaze over to Sonic. "I do not mean a thousand words on the stats from your last track meet."

His eyes met with Tails'. "I do not mean a thousand words copied from your library books. You can flatter me later with that one, fox boy."

And then Shadow's. Silver frowned upon noticing him once again, remembering the incident that brought him there in the first place.

"Nor do I mean a thousand words of some shitty song your wannabe rock band wrote."

Shadow grinned. "And of course no swear words either, right?"

Silver nodded stiffly. "Precisely."

Then Blaze got the final stare-down from the principal.

"And make sure the paper is in proper condition when I pick it up. I mean it. If you dare set off the sprinklers again, cat, I'll be sure to see you next weekend too. And the weekend after that."

The lilac cat sank in her seat with a defeated glare. She mewled and glanced down at her thumb.

"Now," Silver concluded, "My office is right across the hall if any of you need anything, though I strongly discourage bothering me unless it's absolutely necessary. I'll be leaving the door open so I can keep an eye and ear on all of you. That strictly means _no_ monkey business. Now does anyone have any questions?"

"Our vice principal is a monkey..." Shadow said, challenging his principal. Detention had barely started but he was down for having fun, even at the expense of it being this early. Though the principal was quick to fire back.

"You keep your mouth shut, Shadow. I won't take any of your shit today."

"Well you're the one being racially insensitive to monkeys."

"I said _shut it!"_

Shadow bit his tongue to suppress his laughter. He leaned back in his seat and looked back at him lazily.

"Hey actually I do have a question. Are you aware your quills look like a big white hand slapping you on the forehead?"

Silver gritted his teeth, planting his cerulean lined hands into his hips.

"I don't know, Shadow. Maybe you can comb it out for me and reshape it next Saturday morning in _another_ detention."

Shadow slumped back a little, bummed but too proud of himself to stop smiling.

Without saying anything further, Silver turned and exited the library, leaving the five alone in their own awkward silence.

Blaze watched the back of all their heads from her spot, her lip twitching obsessively. All of their quills and fur and tails were like candle wicks. She could feel the hot energy fuming from inside her fingertips, and trying to control it was like trying to hold a full bladder; both painful and uncomfortable.

Shadow caught onto this after noticing her from his peripheral. He watched her carefully.

The feline's thighs bounced up and down as she darted her seared irises back and forth across the room. They then settled in on the lone sheet resting on her desk. Silver had instructed her not to burn it, but gosh it was so tempting.

Maybe just a corner. Yeah, a corner wouldn't hurt.

She pinched the edge of the paper, and the fabric crackled under her grip before browning and chipping away.

Shadow snorted. "You may want to calm down before you send this whole place up into flames."

Blaze shot her wide eyes towards him, shaking violently while she tried to recede the flames threatening to burst within her. She huffed at him before turning away.

"Say," Shadow pressed on. "I think I know you. Yeah, I've definitely seen you before. You're that crazy fire girl. You're the one constantly passing the boy's locker room and burning all the crotch areas on the uniforms."

Sonic's head shot up. He flung his head back. "That was _you?!"_

Blaze whipped her head back at Shadow and looked toward him again, still saying nothing. The hedgehog teasing her wasn't done yet.

"So what's going to happen here today? Are you going to burn my crotch too?"

Blaze snickered like a maniac before shoving her head down and madly twiddling her thumbs. Shadow didn't even look remotely fun to set on fire. He was black, so it was like he'd already been charred. And he was wearing leather, which, if authentic, was not flammable. So boring.

On the other hand, all these other colorful characters were like ripe meat just waiting to be cooked, but she said none of this out loud.

Ahead of them was an eavesdropping fox, who fought to tame his swinging tails, as that's what they did when he was excited or amused. He tried to focus on something else to distract him, though that was an idea that had doomed him from the start. The subject of fire got him thinking about his Yu-Gi-Oh card collection, specifically the Fire Dragon card. Though that monster probably wasn't nearly as powerful as the Blue Eyes White Dragon, _ooh that card was so good,_ and-

"Hey, kid. You're drooling."

Tails jumped and turned back to see that Shadow had his chair turned towards him, and was studying him like an insect. Truth have it, there was a moist accumulation beginning to seep down from the corner of the fox's mouth. He wiped it away quickly, flashing a goofy grin out of embarrassment before turning away.

Shadow, on his side of the room, was swiping his paper out of the way to make room for his feet. He kicked his legs up and folded his arms behind his head, emitting a loud sigh.

And then when it got too quiet, he figured he needed to tickle the atmosphere with some pleasant audio.

He began humming the chorus of The Hustle by Van McCoy, only to rewarded by groans, particularly from the hedgehogs seated in front of him.

His upbeat humming got louder before dipping into a nasally realm in imitation of a saxophone.

Amy massaged her temples, careful to mind her makeup.

"I seriously can't fathom the thought of this going on for another eight hours...I just can't..."

Shadow grinned.

"Do the hustle!"

"Can you please stop that?" Amy asked politely, even though her expression spewed all kinds of hatred. She spun slowly in her seat and Shadow stared at her with slanted scarlet eyes.

Looks like the fish were nibbling today. Without breaking his gaze, he announced to the room:

"Hey, everyone. I just had an idea on how to make the most of this bad situation. Why don't we all run a train on little Miss Homecoming Queen over here?"

Amy reeled back in horror. He bit his lip evilly and winked.

"I'll go first."

The female hedgehog was about ready to dramatically jump out of her chair and make a scene over what he had said, threatening to press charges or even phone the police about harassment. But instead, Sonic intervened just in time.

"Hey prick, why don't you keep your eyes where they belong. _Off her."_

Shadow broke his eye contact with the terrified Amy Rose and looked over at the track star.

"Oh I'm sorry, is she your property?"

Sonic knitted his brows together before turning at once. He didn't give an answer, to which Shadow smirked. Oh yes, the fish were definitely biting.

He held up his hands defensively. "Oh sorry, man, I had no idea you guys were dating."

Amy turned back around as well, grimacing and looking away. Shadow noticed their discomfort and ate up every last of it.

"Oh, so you're _not_ dating then? Have I been mistaken?"

No response.

"So...you're exes."

Still no response.

"Oh come on, give me something to work with here. Not even one date? Mobius Theater's like right around the corner. It's pretty convenient actually."

Nothing but silence.

"Oh for crying out loud, did you fuck her or what."

Both the hedgehogs wheeled around and screamed vulgar insults at him in unison.

"LEAVE US ALONE!" Amy cried out, followed closely by Sonic's, "I'LL KICK YOUR ASS!"

The room then shook with Silver's voice booming from across the hall.

"Hey! I thought I said _no_ monkey business! Quiet down in there!"

Shadow rolled his eyes. "Again with the monkeys."

And then, to his sweet delight, he saw Silver exit his office and cross the hall unto somewhere far out of sight.

Shadow stood from his seat and strode over to the door. "Alright that does it. I've had just about enough of Silver the Fuckhog."

Tails, who had been cowering in his seat after watching his interaction with Sonic and Amy, objected at once.

"S-Shadow, he just said no monkey business."

"If one more person in this room mentions primates, I'm going to fucking pummel them."

Shadow stood directly in front of the doorway, staring at Silver's empty office. He raised a hand, ignoring the questions and comments erupting behind him. He stepped out into the hall and faced the open door head on.

It was time to show the son of a bitch who was boss.

"Chaos _Blast!"_


End file.
